For those of you who've been in the family way, you'll know that the first trimester - more or less - is all about YOU. YOU feel sick; YOU wonder how you might cope YOU YOU YOU
You forget (sometimes) that there's a little tiddler wriggling away inside you and trying to grow. Because you can't feel anything. You don't look much different. You're hugging the toilet bowl.
And then comes the first "proper" scan. When they measure this, that and the other, start testing you for this that and the other.
And you're full of love for this little, fully-formed creature, and full of fear that something will prevent you from meeting properly.
This fear marred my pregnancy with Lily, and definitely ruined my pregnancy with the boys. With Evie, I kept it under control.
This time, I thought I'd got it sussed. Until they measured the nuchal fold.
The nuchal fold measurement can give an indication of Down's and other anomalies; and it's what led to my amniocentesis with the twins. It's usually combined with blood test results, but these are meaningless with twins.
Anyway, my kids have generally got fat necks... Lily was pre-nuchal fold measuring, but it looks pretty big on the scan. Joe's was 2.5mm (threshold), Timmy's 2.7mm (sent us down the 'extra tests' route), Evie's was 2.4mm.
To get an accurate picture of the nuchal fold, they have to basically jab you pretty hard with the scanny thingummyjig. And you have to pretend it's fine, because - after all - you want them to get a good picture.
My sonographer today took AGES to get to this measurement. I was lying there screaming (internally obviously) "Measure the FECKING NUKE WOMAN", but really going "awww" when she said "look it's an arm/leg/stomach."
Finally, she got a good picture. And the measurement.
The lowest nuchal fold I've EVER had.
Of course this needs to be combined with bloods, etc, and then there are other pregnancy hurdles. So the measurement itself isn't so drastically significant (and there's the whole, so what if there's something wrong argument, etc).
The significance was that, when I saw the measurement, I had to fight back the tears.
Until then I hadn't realised quite how I felt about this tiny creature. It's been such an overwhelming time, such a surprise, so tiring...
But I was so relieved that my little baby had cleared his first hurdle. I already love this tiddly little human.
Well done baby. One step closer to mummy.